Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Moving on.

No, the title does not suggest that I am leaving. It merely represents my mental state this past week or two.
So, do you remember in my last blog how I talked about the "big" meeting with all the people who voiced an interest in garden projects/ other small agr. projects? Well, I went house to house handing out invitations just to make absolutely sure everyone remembered when it was - a friendly reminder. The day came and guess who showed up? Absolutely nobody. Not a single person showed up. Nobody had the decency to call to tell me they wouldn't make it and to this day (a bit over a week since) I have only heard one excuse from someone as to why they didn't go. The rest just try to avoid it and act as if nothing happened.
As you all can imagine I was furious. It's one thing for me to push projects that I want without the people voicing an interest and then have poor turnout. It's another thing to have people specifically tell me they want to learn more about gardens and so forth and then just not show/care about actually doing it.
The week following the incident I was mainly just angry. I was upset that I put the energy into something that was just a lie. I was angry that I am spending my third year not doing anything. I was angry with the community for being deceiving.
So, as the week passed I found myself less angry and mainly just disappointed. Disappointed in the community, my third year, etc. I had specifically signed up for a third year to continue with the work I was doing. I didn't have sitting around and doing nothing with people that don't want to do anything on my mind when I decided to extend.
But, though it is frustrating and harsh, it just goes to reinforce the Peace Corps experience. That is to say, even when you feel like you know exactly what you will be doing, nothing is for certain. Our goals are to help with technical aspects of community development, and cross-cultural exchange. My time has been mainly the latter. And, so, even though that wasn't what I wanted, it is my third year experience.
That being said, I have decided to change things up a bit. I've decided to try and work with volunteers in their sites. I figure if people don't want to work here I can find people elsewhere who do. I've also decided to try and take more vacations. I might as well see the country while I'm here. And, finally, I'm still here. Things could change/happen within the next 6 months. So, instead of being frustrated and pissy about the whole situation I'm just going to go with the flow. If my third year ends up being more cross-cultural exchange, learning a new language then so be it. I'd rather it not be like that...but at this point it is kind of out of my hands.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A rant

Here it comes:
I just got back from a week in San Jose for Mid Service Training. It was nice to get to see other volunteers and hear what they are doing and what not. We had some interesting sessions and I was asked to give a presentation on worm composting and biointensive garden practices. It was good.
Now, I just got back in site and went to check on my garden which I had been working on prior to leaving. I put in a lot of work, did lots of planning in how I would plant everything etc. And I come back to a bone dry garden with most plants dead/dying. I'm pissed.
I specifically asked the family if they could water the garden "Of course we can, not a problem, don't worry about it." Great, I figured. Besides, it rains here so often that they probably wont need to water. It barely rained this week and when I asked why nobody watered the garden I wasn't given any answer, just an embarrassed shy shrug. I understand that the garden is my responsibility, but the family knew it was for them too, and they said they would do me the favor.
Now, I'm pissed. It's not necessarily only the garden. I think it's a combination of things. Everyone's general apathy towards any type of work, their disinterest or feigned interest in most things. Add those to a bone dry garden with no excuse as to why and maybe you can understand my frustration.
I'm going to work in my garden tomorrow and try to salvage what I can. I'm also going to hold a big community meeting to make concrete who actually wants the gardening projects they originally had said they wanted. If people flake out on this, or just don't care then I'm going on vacation....for six months.